Future

When I'm thinking about it, I think I have the drugs I need. I apologize, my love, for making such a stupid post. I know you don't like it, and that's why you make me choose. And that's why I choose you. Why would I choose something I don't know instead of you? I don't know. I've just been interested of knowing how the intoxication feels like in a long time, also before we met, because I've tried, yeah, nothing and I feel like I need to know certain things so... you know... so I know how it feels?

But no drug can be compared of the intoxication of your love, my love. So I'll stick to that. And I'll stick to the intoxication of the different kinds of air in the different countries I'm going to experience with you. Because I want to and I will experience the whole world with you, if just you want to do it with me.

But again, I apologize. I hope this kind of explained it?

I can't explain it any different.

(Oh, yeah, and if you didn't notice, I wanted to change the subject by being a little bit cheesy up there...)

No future

I sometime wish that I was such a no-future punk

who didn't care about nothing and no one,

who just took all the drugs that exists and got shitfaced every day,

who did what I felt like and didn't think too much of the consequences,

who just enjoyed life and nature (shrooms, you know),

who would just walk around everywhere I got in my intoxication,

who wouldn't give a shit about no one

but my intoxicated love and my drugs, my fags and my alcohol.

But then I like the thought of life and a future.

A future with all it has. Kids, a house or a big flat.

A massive flat screen tele and a giant kitchen.

A big, soft, expensive bed, that forms after your body.

Home made, hot, healthy food every day.

The perfect life, you know.

But then it just sounds so... boring.

I need to experience something.

Today's poem - The Language of the United Kingdom

Sometimes, I'm so obsessed with the language
of the United Kingdom,

that even my thoughts are in some kind of English.

British, Irish, Scottish, Cockney, it doesn't really matter

if just it is from England.

Except from Welsh.

I'm not really into how that sounds.

My thoughts are never in Welsh.

At least not from what I know of.

It mostly happens after watching a film where the characters are from the UK. Tonight it was Trainspotting. Click the link and you will be guided to the Internet's beloved Wikipedia, so I won't have to tell you what the film is about, 'cause, you see, the thing is, that I am absolutely terrible at explaining what a film is about. I'm starting in the middle, the the ending, back to the middle, a bit from the start and then the ending. And then I forgot to tell the whole point of the film, or just what the actual film was about. Anyways, it's a lovely film, you ought watch it.

Okay, where were we? It mostly happens after watching a film, yes. Then their language is stuck in my brain and so is it when I've chatted with a foreign person in English (because that's the only language other than Danish I'm aaaaaalmost fluent in. Almost). But yeah... then the language is just stuck in my brain, as said.

But when Englishmen say that I'm good at English, there must be something about it, aight?

Hvad sker der?

Jeg ved ikke hvad der sker med mig i dag. Jeg føler mig rastløs, utilpas og virkelig utryg. Det var det samme da jeg var på vej hjem fra byen i nat. Ikke at det var sent, jeg var på vej hjem klokken kvart i et, sådan cirka, fordi der var for crowdet i Ungdomshusets bar, jeg havde ingen penge på mig og der lå ingen bank i nærheden og jeg var ellers i humør til at drikke mig stiv, så der ville ikke være meget fest over det derinde. Men nu bryder jeg mig generelt ikke om Københavns gader om natten. Jeg bryder mig ikke om natbusserne og menneskerne der stiger ind i dem, specielt ikke når de lugter af diverse forskellige alkoholiserede drinks, trods deres pænt sammensatte outfit. Jeg har intet problem med gaderne om natten når jeg er sammen med en eller flere, men når det bare er mig og min musik, så... jeg ved det ikke... så bliver jeg paranoid, tror jeg? Jeg bliver paranoid for, om der sker mig noget. Eller... jeg ved det ikke. Og jeg ville sådan ønske, at Peter var kommet denne weekend i stedet for sidste weekend, for så ville der have været to uger imellem vores gensyn, men der er to uger til nu og der er allerede gået en uge. Og så ville jeg heller ikke have følt mig så utryg. Så ville jeg have haft ham og klamret mig til og ham at putte med når vi kom hjem, for han var det eneste jeg havde lyst til igår. Det hjalp lidt at han ringede, uvidende om hvordan jeg havde det, men han ringede. Det er bare sjældent jeg har det på denne måde, i hvert fald så "ekstremt". Jeg er normalt bare ikke glad for natten i Københavns gader, men denne gang var det bare værre. Øv. Og jeg skal til fest i aften og jeg ved bare, at jeg vil få det på samme måde med mindre jeg er stiv eller har en at følges med. Eller begge dele. Det er derfor jeg så gerne vil have at Stine kommer med, selvom hun har to andre ting hun kan tage sig til. Men jeg lokker hende med at der er øl til kun 5,-. Og hun kan jo sove hos mig efterfølgende, hvis hun vil det. Jeg vil virkelig gerne have at hun kommer med. Øv. Hvorfor skal jeg have det sådan her? Jeg føler mig meget mere tryg i Berlins gader. Alle tidspunkter på døgnet. Jeg savner mit Berlin.

Og ikke mindst savner jeg min Peter. Øv...

I adore you.
1000Fryd, Aalborg. June 27th, 2011.

"I love you"

I feel so awkward when people misuse "I love you".

I just saw one of my old classmates on Facebook. He's got a new girlfriend, and already now he's making a status update saying "I LOVE YOU!!!". I cannot say how long they've known each other, because if they have known each other for a longer time, they ought be able to love each other, but what I know of my old classmate, I can't imagine they've known each other for so long. At least not long time enough for loving each other. What they have not realized it, that they're only in love, and somehow it annoys me because, if they can say they love each other, why can't I tell my boyfriend that I love him? Simply because I'm aware of that I'm "only" insanely extreme crazy in love and I want to tell Peter that I love him when it means the most. We've been together for almost five months, and that is not even close to those words, meaning the most.

But it still annoys me, because they are so ignorant. That's all I can say... it annoys me! It really, really annoys me. They ought know better. Sooner or later it will be a routine saying "I love you", but it shouldn't. When you are 100 % aware of that you are no longer in love but still can't live without your boy- or girlfriend, but not because your relationship has become a routine, it may be because you love each other. But not before.

But I guess he's rather immature, that may be why. He's not ready for actual love. His relationships doesn't last for more than a few weeks or months. Not that that has anything to do with it, but still, right? I consider my relationship as love. I like love.