What's wrong?

I just interpreted the dream I had this night. I dreamed, that I was with my family and that I could fly. There were a Christmas tree, so I guess it had something to do with Christmas.

"Christmas

Christmas eve' stands for happiness and human presence and therefore act in your dreams when you need to be together with your close ones."

"Family

When you dream, that you're together with your family it means, that you feel safe, but if you dream that there are disputes between the family, it means that you feel unsafe."

"Flying

If you dream, that you're flying, it means that you feel that you've got control over the things."

The only thing I feel like I can relate to, is Christmas. I sure feel needy of being with my closest one: Peter. I don't feel safe and that I got control at all. I feel confused and restless. Not to talk about feeling sad.

In a long time, Peter and I talked about going to Aalborg Carnival which is in this weekend. Dress up, nice company, alcohol, just having a nice time and extremely nice weather. In the meantime, Peter finds out that Toy Dolls are on tour and plays in Germany as the closest right now (they're not playing in Denmark). We're going to see them together in August at a festival near Oslo, Norway, yet he decides to go to the festival in Germany this weekend with some of his friends I don't know, instead of going to the Carnival with me and all his other friends. "This is only once," he said, "Carnival is every year, and maybe Toy Dolls won't play next year or any more!". I know. I know that Aalborg Carnival is every year, but I really have been looking forward to experience the Carnival with you this year. Now I'm going to wait through another long winter, 365 days and nights, to go to the Carnival. We're going to see Toy Dolls anyways in August, aren't we? I see, that you obviously, absolutely have to see them twice.

All this just makes me feel so angry, yet sad and somehow disappointed. I don't care if I'm overreacting, I can't do shit about it now anyways. I've already been crying my heart out and beating the wall a bit, so it's too late to realize now, that I've been overreacting. So what, anyways.

I no longer feel bad about Peter didn't call me yesterday at 7 pm., though I had to call him at about 10 pm., 'cause he didn't even answer my texts... but that he's saying that we can talk later, and of course I'm looking forward to that, then says that there's no place where there's silence and "can't we just talk tomorrow?". Fine, just fine. Well, I hope he's the one to text me today to tell me when to call. What time shall we say? I have no fucking clue.

Just thinking about it...